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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27327853">live life to the fullest (dont think of tomorrow)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowernnjaem/pseuds/sunflowernnjaem'>sunflowernnjaem</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boyfriends, But i wont say who, Character Death, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hospital, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Sad, Some Fluff, Tears, Trigger Warning In Notes, doyoung as doctor, jaeyong are fiances</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:46:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,185</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27327853</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowernnjaem/pseuds/sunflowernnjaem</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>hyuck knows.<br/>he knows.</p><p>he knows that his time with mark isn't long. he knows he only have less than a year left with his boyfriend. but he didn't care.</p><p>tw : heart failure, death, tumor, car accident, drunk driving(?), hospital, surgery, hardships to breath, breathing attack, organ transplant</p><p>- lowercase intended -</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>live life to the fullest (dont think of tomorrow)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello please be aware with the trigger warns in the notes! please be responsible if anything happens i want everyone to be safe :((</p><p>this is my first time writing a sad fic please forgive me if it's not sad or if you feel like something is lacking please tell me in my cc in end notes!</p><p>lastly please enjoy hehe i love u guys ♡</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>hyuck knows.<br/>
he knows.</p><p> </p><p>he knows that his time with mark isn't long. he knows he only have less than a year left with his boyfriend. but he didn't care.</p><p> </p><p>although, waking up to loud coughs or having to pay overly priced medicines are making him tired, hyuck would never stop. he'd be happier than ever to take care of mark eventhough he's so exhausted.</p><p> </p><p>seeing mark's pale face and thin body never failed to make hyuck tear up. mark was so different last year. his big smile and contagious laugh never existed anymore due to the accident they got in back then.</p><p> </p><p>mark who was very athletic now couldn't even walk a mile without stopping. mark who was very smiley now could barely even form a smile. mark who was very talkative now became as quiet as a graveyard.</p><p> </p><p>funny, because he might end up there very soon.</p><p> </p><p>his condition due to his heart failure makes hyuck very upset. but he tried his best to not show it. he knew mark already felt shitty for making hyuck work hard for him, hyuck doesn't want mark to feel even worse.</p><p> </p><p>everyday hyuck wakes up with a smile. he leaves a small kiss on mark's lips before he starts his day. he cooks mark's balanced breakfast so that it would be sufficient for his day. then he proceeds to make mark's bath, making sure it's warm enough to not shock his body.</p><p> </p><p>hyuck's daily routine was strict and extremely careful. he couldn't make even the slightest mistake, or mark would bare the consequences. it was tiring, but being able to see mark simply wash them away.</p><p> </p><p>"ah.. there's still no matching donor? alright, thank you for telling us. okay, thank you."</p><p> </p><p>it was only nine in the morning, but hyuck felt so fed up already. they have been receiving countless phone calls about mark's heart donor, but none of them matched mark's.</p><p> </p><p>his canadian body made it hard to be matched among the korean people. they had thought of flying over to canada for easier donating, but that would be twice the cost. hyuck had been saving up to make sure his money is enough for the surgery, so he barely had money to pay the flight to canada.</p><p> </p><p>with a sigh, hyuck put down his phone. he was so into his thought that he didn't notice mark slowly walking into the kitchen. a small frown formed on mark's face seeing his boyfriend so anxious.</p><p> </p><p>"love..?"</p><p> </p><p>hyuck jumped at the sudden voice. he turned around, eyes widened at the sight of mark. quickly he turned off the stove, hurrying to the boy. "ah mark! you should have called me, i can help you here. come, let's eat-"</p><p> </p><p>mark's heart shattered as he saw hyuck's face immediately changed. he heard the phone call before, and he was already up when hyuck kissed him that morning. hyuck may not notice that, but mark had always watched him.</p><p> </p><p>hyuck never showed that he's sad, or mad or even worried. all that was always on his face was a smile. a smile so bright that mark himself started to smile to as well. but mark knew that most of the times, it wasn't real.</p><p> </p><p>while mark's resting at home, hyuck works so hard outside. he works about four different types of job just for mark. who would be happy with that? every night hyuck comes home with a smile, although mark always sees him crying softly in the kitchen, where he thought mark never see him.</p><p> </p><p>"lee donghyuck, listen to me." hyuck froze. it's been a long time since mark called him by his full name or even talk with a serious voice. his condition had worsened lately, making him unable to form sentences without coughing badly in between.</p><p> </p><p>gulping, hyuck shakily looked up. mark's gaze was sad, per usual, but hyuck could see the love in his eyes. a soft gasp left him when mark grabbed his hand, and pulled him to a hug.</p><p> </p><p>"i love you, sunshine."</p><p> </p><p>it was quiet, so quiet. but hyuck heard it loud and clearly. tears started building in his eyes as he sucked them in, trying to not let himself down. he couldn't cry in front of mark, he had to keep himself strong.</p><p> </p><p>but the next words from mark made hyuck almost sob out loud.</p><p> </p><p>"i don't want to ever lose you."</p><p> </p><p>some people might think that mark meant it as to not ever breaking up. but hyuck knew the sentence so well. he knew mark had so little of time, and before he knew it, mark would be gone.</p><p> </p><p>a soft cry left hyuck at the thought, as his tears rolled down like a waterfall. he couldn't bear the thought of living a life without mark by his side, without the man who gave him a reason to smile everyday.</p><p> </p><p>mark hushed his boy and lifted his hand, patting his back. he could feel himself losing energy pretty quickly, but he fought off the feeling. hyuck had been so strong for him for so long, it's time for mark to be there for him.</p><p> </p><p>the two stood like that for a couple of minutes, until mark slowly pull back from the hug. he had to lean to hyuck for support, but there was a gentle smile on his face. mark stroked hyuck's face slowly, wiping the tear streaks.</p><p> </p><p>hyuck sniffled, his hand going to grab mark's on his cheek. he brought it to his lips, kissing his palm ever so sweetly. the atmosphere was sad yet so loving, almost melancholic.</p><p> </p><p>"hyuck.. i'm thinking." mark whispered. hyuck just hummed, not even looking at mark. he might cry again if he did.</p><p> </p><p>"what if we go on a date?" "ah?"</p><p> </p><p>"a date.. just the two of us. a date where we can enjoy life to the fullest. a full day trip, maybe?"</p><p> </p><p>it was spontaneous, but the next thing they knew, they're already in a car, hyuck driving mindlessly.</p><p> </p><p>mark had not left their house for so long. as his doctor said, the air might be too polluted for his weak lungs thus he's been cooped alone most of the times.</p><p> </p><p>the doctor was reluctant to let mark out to the world. but as hyuck left the room, mark told him that he knew he doesn't have much time left and he really wanted to spend time with hyuck, the doctor gave him permission.</p><p> </p><p>so there they were, walking hand in hand as they entered an arcade. mark saw how hyuck's face lightened up ever so brightly. he looked so unreal, so pretty, like an angel.</p><p> </p><p>mark wonders if the angels looks like hyuck when he meets them soon.</p><p> </p><p>as hyuck went to play, mark only stood by his side. as mark had only been the house and on the bed pretty much all the time, his body as if had recharged. the doctor checked him as good to go on a walk but he couldn't move too fast or do any vigorous activity.</p><p> </p><p>"mark- maaark noo i lost!" hyuck whined and cried, pointing to the shooting game. mark laughed seeing the awful low score, but quickly pursed his lips as hyuck glared to him. the couple broke to a laughter as they shared a kiss.</p><p> </p><p>throughout the day, only love and joy filled their hearts. mark did a research and found a place that lets their customers watch any kind of movies they wanted. it was like a cinema but the movie choices are from the oldest to recents.</p><p> </p><p>funny enough, both mark and hyuck went blank when they saw the movie lists. there were so much to watch in such short time that they both laughed seeing each other looking like they're having a midlife crisis just picking a movie. they end up choosing a random movie and ended up with a classic.</p><p> </p><p>the fault in our stars.</p><p> </p><p>hyuck was curled up next to mark as they cuddled on the spacious sofa. the booth was comfortable, and it was private too. it wasn't a known place due to it being small but mark couldn't believe how good the hospitality was.</p><p> </p><p>the couple watched the movie quietly, until hyuck started moving against mark. his voice was quiet, but mark heard it loud and clear.</p><p> </p><p>"they're like us."<br/>
"hm?"<br/>
"deadly cancer but doesn't stop each other from loving the other."</p><p> </p><p>mark let out a shaky breath. hyuck wasn't looking at him, but he felt his finger circling mark's knuckles. the air was heavy and mark was choking up of emotions.</p><p> </p><p>"i love you mark."<br/>
"i love you much more love."</p><p> </p><p>with slow movements, mark carefully lifted hyuck's face. their lips slotted against each other perfectly, full of emotions. no tears rolled down this time, yet both of them knew how heavy their heart are for the other.</p><p> </p><p>but the kiss ended so soon. due to his heart beating very slow, the amount of oxygen in his body was really low as well. this was why mark can't even kiss hyuck properly, as he'll lose oxygen pretty fast.</p><p> </p><p>as soon as the movie ended, they went to eat. hyuck complained saying the snacks given wasn't enough for him although he ate most of them and mark only laughed. he pinched hyuck's cheek, hyuck yelping in response.</p><p> </p><p>they looked like a normal happy couple, as if they don't have any concerns of the world.<br/>
mark felt like he's alive again.</p><p> </p><p>it was almost five p.m, mark and hyuck were at the park. setting out a mat and just the two of them with the beautiful view, everything felt so right. their pinkies intertwined, eyes shyly gazing over each other.</p><p> </p><p>until, hyuck's phone rang loudly. mark jumped at the sudden noise, as hyuck quickly fish it out. "oh shit- mark i'm so sorry i'm really sorry are you okay baby?" "god- i'm fine, hyuck. it's okay love, proceed."</p><p> </p><p>hyuck accidentally canceled the call as he guided mark to calm his breathing. a few moments passed before mark squeezes hyuck's hand and let out a heavy exhale, smiling to his boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>the phone rang again, but this time the both of them are aware. hyuck's heart dropped as he saw that the caller was mark's doctor. he glanced over to mark's face to see him also nervous.</p><p> </p><p>mark bit his lips as he squeezed hyuck's hand. "we can get through this together, baby. i love you, okay?" "mark.." "it's alright. put it on speaker, hm?"</p><p> </p><p>a long breath left hyuck. he held on mark's hand for support before finally picking up the call. he pressed the speaker button, and set the phone on the carpet so the both of them could hear it clearly.</p><p> </p><p>"hello, donghyuck. is mark there too?"</p><p> </p><p>ever since mark got into the accident, they have been with the same doctor. they've met him so much to the point they decided to drop the formalities, and they just call the doctor as doyoung hyung.</p><p> </p><p>"yeah, hyung, i'm here." mark breathed out, leaning his head on hyuck's shoulder. the latter smiled, feeling mark's finger circling his knuckles. "great, i have a news."</p><p> </p><p>"news? what news?"<br/>
"alright, don't get too shocked over this hm? i don't want anyone to get hurt."</p><p> </p><p>the both of them frowned at the weird choice of doyoung's words. if it was another unmatch then it's not supposed to be that shocking. but this time it was as if... there's something big for the two of them.</p><p> </p><p>hyuck gulped as he straightened his back, heart thumping fast with nervousness. he cleared his throat, carefully asking.</p><p> </p><p>"hyung.. what do you mean by that?"<br/>
"so a donor came by yesterday, and we finally finished checking him. congratulations mark and donghyuck, you finally have a matching donor."</p><p> </p><p>no words could describe what hyuck was feeling at that time. he could feel his heart stop beating altogether, and that he was floating. hyuck froze, his mind went blank.</p><p> </p><p>a matching donor? for mark? after about thirty something unmatches?</p><p> </p><p>tears gathered in hyuck's eyes. a soft cry left his throat as his body shivered, his heart felt so light. he was happy, so overjoyed. all his efforts and patience all this while seemed to finally pay off.</p><p> </p><p>on the other hand, mark, couldn't believe his ears. he finally got a donor. a donor, that's willing to give up on his life for mark. he's happy, indeed, but he somehow felt uneasy with the fact that someone's going to die for him.</p><p> </p><p>but mark noticed the soft cries from hyuck. he immediately sat up and hugged the boy to his chest, wincing at the bump. hyuck curled his fist to mark's shirt, crying his heart out.</p><p> </p><p>"well, come by the hospital after this okay? we will do some check ups and arrange the date right away. congratulations again, you guys."</p><p> </p><p>the call ended, but neither of them moved. hyuck was filled with joy, and so does mark with a few other emotions. mark had a small smile on his face as he caressed hyuck's hair.</p><p> </p><p>"we did it donghyuck. don't cry, honey."<br/>
"i'm- i'm so happy- so- so happy for you mark.."</p><p> </p><p>it was around seven o'clock later when the boyfriends went to the hospital. hyuck couldn't stop wiping his tears as mark hushed him with sweet words, kissing his cheeks whenever he noticed hyuck was about to cry again.</p><p> </p><p>soon, doyoung called them in. he smiled at the sight of hyuck crying. he got out the paperworks with a towel for hyuck.</p><p> </p><p>"here, fill this form first okay? donghyuck, you did a great job. i'm so proud of you."<br/>
"thank you hyung.."</p><p> </p><p>the tears slowly stopped spilling as time passed. the couple started filling the forms, discussing quietly of the answers. as soon as they finished, they slid them over to doyoung.</p><p> </p><p>doyoung scanned over the forms and then hummed. he nodded to the couple, a gentle smile on his face.</p><p> </p><p>"we will do a few check ups but it's better to be done tomorrow. can you guys be here by nine am? but mark don't eat anything yet."<br/>
"ah, well, okay hyung. thank you so much."<br/>
"anything. as long as you guys can smile again."</p><p> </p><p>that night, hyuck went to sleep with the biggest smile on his face. he faced mark who, was already sleeping. he inched closer, leaving a soft peck on mark's cheek. he giggled quietly seeing a blooming blush.</p><p> </p><p>"we won, mark."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"well, alright. seems like everything is fine and the surgery could be done soon. do you have any questions?"</p><p> </p><p>"um.. can we.. meet the donor?"</p><p> </p><p>it was awkward. mark and hyuck sat side by side as in front of them was jaehyun, mark's heart donor. he was smiling, and his dimples were charming. he looked so calm, as if he's delighted upon meeting the couple.</p><p> </p><p>mark slowly smiled, but his heart felt heavy. the man in front of him with the charming smile is okay with losing his life for mark. he doesn't understand, actually, why would he do that?</p><p> </p><p>"it's a pleasure to meet you two. and i know this is a good choice."</p><p> </p><p>jaehyun's voice was sweet, and deep. like a marshmellow coated with dark chocolate fondue. mark's eyes teared up.</p><p> </p><p>"why.. why did you sign for a heart transplant?"</p><p> </p><p>the guy looked shocked. but it was replaced with a gentle smile as he looked down. hyuck gulped as he nervously fiddled with his own sweatshirt, somehow nervous for the answer.</p><p> </p><p>"i had someone i love too. taeyong was his name. he looks like he came out from a comic, here, his face." jaehyun showed them the screen of his phone. there was a guy, shorter than jaehyun, clinging onto his arm with the biggest smile on his face.</p><p> </p><p>jaehyun pulled back his phone, staring to it with a smile. hyuck saw his eyes tearing up, making himself close to crying as well.</p><p> </p><p>"he had a malignant tumor. and i knew about it. but i couldn't do anything. everyday, i watch as he became weaker and paler. he couldn't talk as much as he used to. his sweet, sweet voice.. was gone. he talked with a hoarse voice, but still gave me butterflies.</p><p>"i still remember that day. i woke up to a loud gasping of breath. it was taeyong. he had his mouth wide open trying to breath. i rushed him to the hospital, but.. he.. we didn't make it. i carried him out of the car.. but just as i was about to put him down on the bed.. he passed away. in my arms..</p><p>"i have never felt so broken. i was there with him the whole time, but i didn't get to save him. since then i couldn't live a perfect life, i missed him so much. i don't want anyone else to feel what i felt, and i just think that it's time for me to meet him again."</p><p> </p><p>mark thought, jaehyun was a really strong man. he didn't cry even a tear, but his eyes were so glossy. on his side, hyuck was already crying silently. he kept a tight grip on hyuck's waist, as his own eyes tear up.</p><p> </p><p>jaehyun let out a shaky breath as he mustered a smile. his finger padded over taeyong's face, the memories with his fiancé were so fresh in his mind as if it was just yesterday, although it was nearly three years ago.</p><p> </p><p>"when doyoung showed me the photo of you two, i knew you were the same as us. but mark, you have a chance. you can live happily with your boyfriend. but i can't.. i was too late.."</p><p> </p><p>hyuck couldn't stop the sob out of his throat. it was as if he could feel what jaehyun felt. he felt as if he was taeyong at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>sacrificing his life so people would get the time they deserved with someone they love.<br/>
in which what jaehyun didn't have much.</p><p> </p><p>jaehyun smiled seeing mark's arm around hyuck's waist and hyuck crying to his shoulder. he knew the pair should be given more time for each other. he knew what he's doing is good, and he knew taeyong would love him more for what he did.</p><p> </p><p>"so mark, donghyuck, live your life to the fullest. don't think so much. fight all you want, love all you want. life is short, you might not notice it, but next thing you know, everything is gone. so be happy."</p><p> </p><p>doyoung was worried that mark could be worse if the date was any later, so they chose the day after tomorrow. hyuck invited jaehyun to their house for lunch together, feeling so grateful over someone as kind as jaehyun.</p><p> </p><p>after jaehyun went home, hyuck immediately got active. he went out a few hours, and came home with hands full of paper bags. mark frowned with confusion, until hyuck got the stuffs out.</p><p> </p><p>"i wanna make a flower crown for you! and a bracelet, and then a lion headband because your bed hair always looked like a lion's."<br/>
"well sir i did not ask for that slander."</p><p> </p><p>laughter filled the room as the two worked on the bed. mark finished early, as he started feeling lightheaded. he took his medinices and smiled warmly as hyuck talked to him with a warm voice.</p><p> </p><p>the male was still occupied over his arts, being so adorable with his tongue stuck out. mark's eyes were filled with love as he stared at hyuck. hyuck who has sacrificed his time and energy for mark.</p><p> </p><p>mark first met hyuck about eight years ago when they were fifteen. he just transferred from canada and was trying to look for a friend when hyuck, out of nowhere, came up to him with a big, big smile and big shining eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"hi! you must be mark lee from canada right? ooh you do look cute like they said. i'm lee donghyuck! do you wanna hold hands?"<br/>
"i'm pretty sure you meant.. shake hands?"<br/>
"jaemin said if i found a cute boy i can hold hands though."</p><p> </p><p>the years spent with hyuck was chaotic. that particular sentence made mark run away from him, but soon they became best friends. mark lee was filled with rage, disappointment, joy, disgust, fear, touched and lastly, love.</p><p> </p><p>mark himself wasn't sure how he could fall in love with hyuck who was so different from him. but now, he could never fall out of love with the sun of his life.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>the next day, mark woke up feeling shitty. his heart felt heavy, but he didn't pay any mind. maybe it was the nervousness of going into surgery the day after, but he's not sure enough.</p><p> </p><p>in any ways, hyuck wasn't around that day. he had work, so mark let him be. hyuck did spam his cute texts and reminders to eat which never failed to give mark butterflies.</p><p> </p><p>he still didn't feel better by noon. instead, he felt even more worse and dizzier. mark thought of taking a nap, but his afternoon naps always resulted to bad nausea. so napping wasn't a good option.</p><p> </p><p>mark resulted to sitting at the living room, watching news. he leaned back to the cushion, breathing heavily. everything seemed blurry, but he's still concious of his surrounding. mark blinked a few times, just to get even dizzier.</p><p> </p><p>a groan echoed in the room. mark tilted his head back, his heavy breathing so loud in his ears. mark shut his eyes close tightly, trying to concentrate. a painful groan left him as he took in a big breath.</p><p> </p><p>slowly, his dizziness went away, and mark was aware of everything. he slowly lifted his head, squinting his eyes. his body felt so tired, and he couldn't move. his arms felt so heavy, but the next thing mark knew was his vision blackened.</p><p> </p><p>when mark woke up, he saw a white ceiling. shocked, mark jolted awake. he heard a familiar gasp, just to see hyuck with red eyes looking at him. hyuck immediately sigh out of relief as he pouted.</p><p> </p><p>"mark you- you weren't conscious when i came home and i- i just thought- we- you just- mark i can't.." a sob left hyuck, his whole body trembling.</p><p> </p><p>mark softened as he slowly sat up, pulling hyuck into a hug. a soft cry left hyuck as he tightened the hug, but careful to not crush mark.</p><p> </p><p>when he arrived to the house, mark didn't open the door. he opened the door just to see mark on the couch, his head tilted back on the cushion. hyuck rushed to wake him up but mark didn't show any response which made him panic.</p><p> </p><p>hyuck didn't know what to do, so he just called doyoung. his heart was beating so fast as he followed the ambulance in front of him to the hospital. while mark was getting checked, he was calmed down by doyoung.</p><p> </p><p>"mark had a small attack, but he's fine. i think he was just nervous for tomorrow but his heart thought it was danger. he's alright now, but when he wakes up don't crowd him with question, okay?"</p><p> </p><p>"i was so scared mark.." hyuck whispered, holding mark's hand tight. mark hushed him, kissing his knuckles. "i'm so sorry sunshine, i didn't mean to. but i'm here now okay baby?"</p><p> </p><p>small kisses and sweet words were shared as the couple calmed each other down. doyoung came in a bit later, but with a frown etched on his face.</p><p> </p><p>"are you feeling okay now mark?"<br/>
"yeah.. a lil dizzy but fine."<br/>
"okay so.. as the surgery is tomorrow, we might have to quarantine you in here to make sure everything is alright for tomorrow. is it okay with you guys? hyuck, i'm so sorry but you can't see him anymore until the surgery starts to ensure mark's totally safe."</p><p> </p><p>"i- i can't see him before he goes to surgery?"<br/>
"you can, but only when he's being rolled into the room."</p><p> </p><p>hyuck couldn't bear not being with mark before he goes to the surgery. he knew mark would feel anxious and nervous. hyuck wanted to be by his side before anything else, but for the sake of mark's safety, he had to sacrifice.</p><p> </p><p>"..okay, hyung. i'll come tomorrow.."</p><p> </p><p>doyoung nodded and patted hyuck's back. "the both of you are strong. i hope for the best for you two." as he left the room, the couple was left with an eerie silence.</p><p> </p><p>"hyuck, do you love me?"<br/>
"mark? what are you saying?"<br/>
"do you?"<br/>
"of course..?"</p><p> </p><p>"then trust me that everything is going to end well. promise me, whatever happened, you will put on a smile for me."<br/>
"mark- i don't like what you're saying-"<br/>
"i love you so much, lee donghyuck, my sun. i will be strong for myself, so you need to be strong for me too baby. promise me, love."</p><p> </p><p>that night hyuck couldn't sleep. his bed felt so cold, no mark for him to stare, no mark to playfully tell him to go to sleep or he'll roll away from hyuck. a tear left hyuck at the thought of his everyday life without mark.</p><p> </p><p>when hyuck came to the hospital the next day, it was chaotic. hyuck's heart thumped so fast as he went to mark's floor, to see people in and out of mark's ward. their faces showed panic and fear, which made hyuck even scared.</p><p> </p><p>he slowly walked to the ward, stopping a few steps away. doyoung walked out with a heavy face, and immediately spotted hyuck. his face changed, from troubled to shock.</p><p> </p><p>"donghyuck."</p><p> </p><p>"mark is in his worst condition right now. he couldn't breath and needed his oxygen tank. his blood pressure was really low as well, and his whole body is paralyzed. he cannot undergo the surgery safely right now, but he wanted to. he said.. he said..</p><p>"he said that he promised to do everything he can for you.."</p><p> </p><p>"mark! mark open the door! mark!"</p><p> </p><p>hyuck sobbed as he banged his fist to the door. his heartbroken cries echoed through the hallway, but he didn't care. mark was laying peacefully on the hospital bed, but his chest was painfully rising and lowering with a slow pace.</p><p> </p><p>no one could ever stop hyuck at that time. everyone was trying to deafen their ears from hearing hyuck's sobs, that are so heart breaking and terrifying. hyuck cried and cried to the door, trying to get in touch with mark.</p><p> </p><p>"don't do this! don't do this to us! you know this would fail! you know this will kill the both of us! mark you know that! mark wake up, wake up and tell me you're joking! wake up and tell me.. tell me that you love me and you will wait for me!"</p><p> </p><p>doyoung had to carry hyuck away from the door as the surgeon stepped in. hyuck's wails became louder as he saw the surgeon walking towards mark. his heart broke seeing mark's pale face.</p><p> </p><p>just a few hours earlier, mark was fiddling with his blanket. his heart felt even heavier than usual, but he could bear with it. doyoung entered shortly with a concerned frown, which, made mark uneasy.</p><p> </p><p>"mark, it stated here that you're not in a suitable condition for a surgery. we will have to keep checking up on you until you're stable enough."<br/>
"what? but- but it was fine the other day."<br/>
"yes it is.. but your condition worsened yesterday and-"</p><p> </p><p>"will i even make it out alive tomorrow if i don't do the surgery today, hyung?"</p><p> </p><p>it was a simple question, but doyoung was left frozen. he shakily looked to mark, but the male was determined. his pupils were wavering, as he slowly asked again.</p><p> </p><p>"if my body is getting worse.. doesn't that mean i will die at any time? i don't think hyuck would like that.. me dying without a chance of getting a surgery. hyung, the reason i'm still alive was because of hyuck, hyung.</p><p>"everyday, i wake up feeling like it's going to be my last day. but the moment i see donghyuck, i can't even think of dying anymore. i want to live for him, i want to enjoy my life with him. i don't want to be dead like this.</p><p>"he was so happy when he knew i'm getting a surgery. look at this, hyung. he made it for me. he did it with the biggest smile on his face because i'm finally going to be healthy. even if i'm going to be dead, make it over with a failed surgery, not an unknown date."</p><p> </p><p>mark lifted his hand that had the plastic bracelet. there was a small sun and a watermelon charm connected in the middle. the smile on hyuck's face.. mark doesn't want to lose it.</p><p> </p><p>"so hyung.. even if i'm going to be dead after this, please let him know that i love him so much."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"mark! mark wake up! wake up and tell me you will make out from here alive! come here and promise me you're going to not leave me alone mark! mark lee i hate you!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"MARK!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>hyuck slowly knelt down, putting the bouquet of flowers in front of the grave. a small smile went to his face as his eyes teared up. his small hand went up to slowly caress the gravestone, eyes following to the grave next to it.</p><p> </p><p>jung jaehyun<br/>
1997-20_</p><p> </p><p>another brave person. ready to sacrifice for his soulmate. just like the person hyuck's visiting now. a person who changed hyuck's life so much.</p><p> </p><p>"thank you.. thank you so much for everything. you have done so much for me, for us. i'm so grateful of you."</p><p> </p><p>hyuck wiped his tear, his smile wavering. his heart felt so heavy, because the person was someone so important to him. someone who taught hyuck that fighting for love is okay. someone hyuck really looked up to.</p><p> </p><p>being so deep in thoughts, hyuck didn't notice someone walking over to him. only when he felt soft dabs on his face by a napkin. hyuck turned his head, smiling ever so gently.</p><p> </p><p>"you're okay, love?"<br/>
"yeah.. i missed doyoung hyung, mark."</p><p> </p><p>kim doyoung<br/>
1996-20__</p><p> </p><p>doyoung passed away in a car accident by a drunken driver. when hyuck and mark heard of the news, the both of them rushed to the hospital, but to no avail, doyoung's heart beat monitor was zero at that time.</p><p> </p><p>but the both of them might be happy for mark and hyuck now. it had been around four years after the successful surgery. although mark lost a lot of blood, he still survived.</p><p> </p><p>and they were engaged, even.</p><p> </p><p>hyuck faced mark with a smile, holding his hand. his finger padded over the silver ring on his pinky.</p><p> </p><p>as they walk out of the graveyard, hand in hand, mark muttered a few words. the same words hyuck said when mark went to the surgery with a critical condition.</p><p> </p><p>"i love you so much lee donghyuck. and i promise now, right here, that i will never, ever leave you alone."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi umm i hope u enjoyed that hehe</p><p>everyone and everything mentioned in the story is fictional except for the names, i just want to portray the actual sickness using their name that's all</p><p>i.. actually did lose someone very special to me because of a heart failure. only the attacks as mentioned were real but apart from that everything is fake okay &lt;3</p><p>you are loved.<br/>you are precious.<br/>you are someone's reason to wake up smiling every day.<br/>smile, honey, you look much better.</p><p>here's my <a href="https://curiouscat.qa/sunflowernnjaem">cc</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/sunflowernnjaem?s=09">twt</a> ♡</p></blockquote></div></div>
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